


Enough

by unknownlifeform



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Cloud Strife Angst, M/M, Sefikura Week 2021, Self-Esteem Issues, Snippets, claudia tifa and zack also make an appearance, soft sefikura vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknownlifeform/pseuds/unknownlifeform
Summary: Cloud is not used to fit in with what people want him to be. He was never good at being enough.Sephiroth seems to think he is.(Sefikura Week 2021 Day Four: Free Day)
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hewwo I wrote this in like two hours I hope fellow Sefikura fans will appreciate this humble offering

"How many times have I told you not to pick fights?"

"A lot," Cloud said. He stared down at his legs, kicking them against the chair he sat on. "I'm sorry."

Claudia huffed. "You could show me how sorry you are by not doing it again. Look up."

Cloud obeyed, raising his head. His mother brushed a wet rag against his forehead, wiping away the blood. Cloud had been pushed into the ground earlier, all his face was full of cuts and scratches.

He hadn't been able to fight back. Last week, Cloud had had an argument with another boy and broke his nose. This time the boy had brought back his older brother to teach Cloud a lesson.

Claudia rubbed a cotton ball over the cut she'd cleaned. Cloud hissed at the burn.

"None of that," Claudia said.

"It hurts!"

"It will hurt more if we let it get infected. Maybe this will teach you not to get yourself beaten up."

It hadn't been Cloud's fault. The other one had started it. Cloud had just reacted. Mom always said that he had to ignore it if other children said mean things to him, but Cloud couldn't do that. He always told himself not to react, but then they'd insult him again and again and again and in the end he always snapped.

His eyes started watering as Claudia made sure to coat every cut in peroxide. The ones on his face, the scratches on his knees. There was a hole in Cloud's pants, made when he'd fallen and dragged them over some sharp rock. It would have to be fixed. And washed thoroughly, to get the blood stain out.

"Torture over," Claudia eventually said. "Here, can you put these on?"

Cloud took the offered band aids, putting them on his knees. Claudia used the last one to cover the cut on Cloud's forehead.

She sighed. "Why is it that you always have to end arguments in fights, Cloud?"

She didn't sound upset anymore. Just resigned. It made Cloud feel more ashamed of himself than the scolding had.

"It's not like anyone listens to me," he muttered.

Claudia closed her eyes for a second, and then leaned in, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I worry about you."

"I'm sorry, mom."

"Don't be," she said, stroking his hair. "You are a good boy, Cloud. I just- I wish you didn't get hurt so much."

Cloud didn't really understand. His mother always told him that he was good. That he had a good heart, and that he was smart, and that his jokes were funny.

If that was true, then Cloud did not understand why it was that only she said it. All the other children hated him. They said he was a loser. Called him stupid and weird and other things they'd never repeat in front of their parents.

And their parents didn't like Cloud either. Grown ups never said things to his face, but Cloud could still tell. They frowned when they looked at him, they whispered between themselves. If there was a fight, they always assumed that it was his fault, even if he had really done nothing.

He didn't know what it was that his mother saw and no one else did. Living in Nibelheim sometimes felt like trying to force in a puzzle piece that did not fit. Cloud was different. He told himself that it was a good thing, because the other children were all mean and stupid, and he didn't want to be like them.

But it still hurt to be alone.

His mother kept hugging him. Cloud hugged her back, but felt awkward doing so. He wasn't sure sometimes that he knew the Cloud his mother cared for.

***

"Cloud?"

Cloud looked up from the grass he was morosely pulling. "Tifa?"

"Hey," she said. "You're leaving tomorrow, right?"

Cloud nodded. The anticipation was turning his stomach upside down. He had never really left Nibelheim in his life. The idea of going somewhere else was both thrilling and terrifying. He didn't know what it was like to live in a large city.

He supposed that was probably the last of his concerns. If he was to join the military, he'd probably live in some kind of barracks first. He heard Shinra's rules could be quite strict for new recruits.

"Are you nervous?" Tifa asked.

The honest answer would be yes, but Cloud was way too prideful to say that.

"Nah," he replied instead, getting up.

"Really? I would feel pretty scared."

Cloud shrugged. "I can't become a SOLDIER if I'm scared of leaving town, can I?"

Tifa smiled. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

They stood there for a moment, awkwardly staring at each other.

It was Tifa who broke the silence again. "I don't really have a lot of time, you know my dad doesn't want me to spend time with you."

Cloud hummed, looking down.

"I just wanted to wish you good luck."

"Thank you."

Tifa seemed hesitant. She took a step towards Cloud, then stopped, leaning back. In the end, however, she made up her mind and walked up to him. Cloud froze when she hugged him.

"Don't forget our promise," she said.

"Uh. Sure," Cloud replied. He put a hand on Tifa's back, not sure how to react.

"Come back a big, strong SOLDIER."

Big and strong. Right now, Cloud was neither. In fact, Tifa was about an inch taller than he was. It was incredibly embarrassing, because Cloud was one year older.

Right now, he was acutely aware of that. Of his bony elbows and scrawny frame. Very far from all the SOLDIERs on the news. From Sephiroth, who towered over anyone else around him. If Cloud were to meet him now, he reckoned he might reach Sephiroth's waist. Maybe.

Tifa let him go. "I'll... I'll see you, then."

Cloud swallowed. "Check the newspapers."

"I will."

He'd do it. He'd keep his promise with Tifa. He'd show her and all of Nibelheim that he could be a hero. He'd come back a SOLDIER. First Class. With a badass uniform and a sword and large shoulders.

For now, all he could do was try to shake away the feeling that had sprung up on him. The sensation of being nothing else but a little child, trying to make others believe he was far greater than he truly was.

***

Cloud hated parties.

Not that he had ever been to many of them. He wasn't popular enough. But Zack had begged him to come to his birthday parties, and it wasn't like Cloud could just say no to one of the few friends he had.

It was terrible. There were too many people. Many of them were SOLDIERs, and Cloud found himself hoping none of them recognized him as infantry. Every inside joke Cloud heard made him want to bolt away. He was out of place here. He was just some country kid who hadn't been able to pass his admission exam. Who was just lucky enough to have caught the attention of popular First Class Zack Fair.

And Zack was really incredibly popular. It seemed like half of Shinra was trying to fit inside his flat. Cloud didn't know where to retreat to, because every room was full of people and every corner was occupied.

He only held strong because he knew Zack would be upset if he left. Even worse, Zack would probably be upset at himself for not having made Cloud more at ease.

"Spike! There you are!"

"Hey, Zack," Cloud said, with a strained smile.

"I thought you had disappeared for a moment."

Zack wrapped one arm around Cloud's neck. A friendly gesture, Zack was always generous with those.

But right now there were Zack's SOLDIER friends looking at Cloud, and Cloud could not find it him to lean into Zack. He wanted to rip his arm off of him and escape, just so that he wouldn't have to deal with other people's eyes. That would bother Zack, however, and so Cloud didn't. He just let himself be dragged, rigid as a statue.

"This is my friend, Cloud! Cloud, these are Turner and Brad!"

"Nice meeting you," said one of the two SOLDIERs. Cloud had no idea who was who.

"Have you been having fun?" Zack asked.

"Yeah," Cloud lied. "I just, I'd need to use the bathroom one second."

"You feeling ok?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

Cloud extricated himself from Zack's grip, and bolted to the bathroom.

It was free, thankfully. Cloud locked himself him.

He couldn't stay here long. Just two minutes. Just enough to get some breath.

He knew Zack was trying to make Cloud feel included. It was just how Zack was. But Cloud didn't fit, everyone in the room was a success at whatever they did, and he was just infantry. A no one.

He looked at the time on his PHS. He had been here an hour. Felt like days, really. He'd hold strong for another half an hour, and then he'd try to find an excuse to leave.

***

"Stay."

Cloud had started to turn around to get out of bed, but the word made him stop.

It was somewhat unfair how perfect Sephiroth still looked. Not a hair out of place, even if Cloud had been running his fingers through it. He was like a staged picture. Head resting on the pillow, hair artistically draped over his shoulders, the sheets tastefully covering his lower body.

"It's late," Cloud said.

"You can sleep here, if you want."

Cloud swallowed. "Won't that be a problem?"

"If it were, I wouldn't have asked."

Cloud lied back down, looking at Sephiroth across from him.

He didn't know why Sephiroth had a bed big enough to fit two. Sephiroth had told him that he wasn't in the habit of bringing just anyone to bed, and Cloud found himself believing that. It seemed strange to think that he may be peculiar enough to catch the interest of the General, when Cloud was really nothing special. Part of him still wondered whether Sephiroth hadn't lied to him.

But something told Cloud that he could trust Sephiroth on that. Everyone who worked with him seemed to agree that Sephiroth was nearly untouchable. He never showed interest in people, sexual or otherwise. Only a handful of people might have ever considered themselves Sephiroth's friends.

The bed wasn't the only thing in Sephiroth's place that seemed oversized. The flat seemed barely lived in. Sephiroth's presence normally could fill a room, and yet the first time Cloud had followed him home he had thought Sephiroth seemed... small. Somehow. There was something about seeing Sephiroth in the bare rooms of his pristine house that took the edge away from him. Made him look human.

Sephiroth's arms rested on bed between them. There was space that Cloud maybe should have crossed. It would be easy for him to shift forward and press against Sephiroth's bare chest. That was what people did, when they spent the night together, wasn't it? Cuddling?

Sephiroth did not seem inclined to move. Neither did Cloud. Part of him wanted to curl up against Sephiroth, because that is what... lovers did. Cloud supposed he could count himself as a lover now.

He wouldn't know what to do if he did. He wasn't good at being intimate. No doubt he would have been incredibly awkward, trying to wrap his arms around Sephiroth. He didn't even know if Sephiroth would have appreciated it.

He just lied on his side, his own arms placed on the mattress.

"Do you have a morning shift tomorrow?" Sephiroth asked.

"No."

"Good."

What might have been a hint of a smile graced Sephiroth's lips. He seemed peaceful like this.

Sephiroth's fingers brushed over Cloud's arm. He traced a line starting from Cloud's wrist, moving a couple inches before going back.

Rationally, it made no sense for Cloud to be here, in Sephiroth's bed, with Sephiroth tenderly making patterns on his skin.

"Why did you ask me to stay?" Cloud whispered. It seemed right, to keep his voice low.

"Did you not want to?"

"No. I do."

Sephiroth blinked. "I... find your company enjoyable."

"I don't think I will be much company now."

"Why?"

Cloud smiled. "You have exhausted me, General."

A sentence he might have never thought of saying in another occasion. Not without blushing and stammering at least. Right now Cloud's energies were too drained from the sex for him to feel properly self conscious. His mind was still too much in a daze to properly overthink his words.

"Sleep, then," Sephiroth said. "Your presence is enough."

Cloud closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. He wasn't used to being enough. There was always something that he lacked.

Sephiroth seemed a different person without his uniform on. Softer, maybe. He had let Cloud in his house and allowed Cloud to see him without his armor of leather and frost. He was vulnerable, as far as a First Class SOLDIER could ever be.

If Sephiroth trusted Cloud with this, then Cloud could trust that Sephiroth knew what he was talking about. If he said Cloud was enough, Cloud somehow had to be.


End file.
